The Leg as an excuse

‘Your leg is fine now - you are the same person you were some six weeks back’ said the doctor. A smile spread across my lips as I thanked the doctor and walked out holding on to the crutch a little less lightly…”You need not use the support now” said the doctor, as he waved us good bye…

A big relief washed over me as I slowly walked back to the car. The steps were short and slow and by the time I reached the car, it looked as if I was trying to remember and relearn how to walk ‘independently’- slowly trying to get rehabilitated to what I was prior to the injury. Be confident in your steps, there is nothing to fear said my husband as he held my hand and helped me back to the car. Let’s go for a drive, he said as he slowly made way out of the city’s busy streets.

Had the outside world changed in the six weeks- not really. Noticed it was still the same. The same chaos and confusion .The people looked extremely busy and seemed to be in a hurry. What were they busy in- what did they want to achieve- what was the ‘race’ they were running? What was the goal which was so important to achieve that none stopped for a minute to even take a pause and give a glance at the world? Their eyes and hearts seemed programmed and they seemed oblivious to the world around them. To me, they all seemed like robots in action!

But had my world had changed in the last six weeks- most definitely yes. My expectations and perceptions had changed. My aspirations, my thoughts, my dreams had changed. These six weeks had made me a richer person- richer in experiences, richer in thoughts and richer in relationships. The experience was humbling in more than one way and at the end of it all, these sculpted me into being a more sensitive person. A deep sense of gratitude swept over me – to all the people who in their own small ways supported me and helped me get over this very smoothly.

As I reflect back, the six weeks of ‘forced rest’ stood as a test of my reactions on this state of ‘doing nothing’. Would I whine and cry my way out and party hard at the freedom again after six weeks or would I reflect on all the things which I always wanted to do but somehow never ‘found the time’. To do things and use this as an opportunity to satisfy and put a tick in the box in a lot of items on my bucket list. I choose to do the latter. Reading literature- prose, poems, essays, watching the best of movies which the world cinema has produced, getting together a group of like minded friends and starting a book club for appreciation of art and literature, paying a visit to my old teachers and professors, writing a few travelogues and essays, arranging a poetry reading program- the six weeks flew away quickly.

What happened to the busy life which I was so used to- all the weekend parties and the beeline to movie theatre on Fridays. I outlasted them. The friends who cared visited home and kept in touch thro phone and provided the much needed support. Colleagues dropped in to say hello and gave warm wishes for speedy recovery. My world got richer as it was filled with wishes of friends and loved ones. I took a pause and got to understand who and what really mattered…was a time and opportunity given for soul searching…and a preview that a beautiful life existed beyond ‘weekday work’ and ‘weekend partying’.

The importance of small acts of kindness and compassion towards fellow human beings who are physically challenged dawned upon me. I suddenly started noticing the lack of empathy the society around us have for the physically challenged…I started advocating ramps and lifts to the different places I visited like different hospitals or other commonly visited places like department stores etc.. The world is not made of people with equal capabilities but then I was surprised on why I had not noticed it all these years…did it warrant a ‘fracture in my leg’ to make me ‘human’ in the true sense of the word.

As I reached home, I remembered the doctors words that I was again, the same person as I was six weeks back…Am I- not really .